My health and fun with Turkish taxi drivers

My health is good and the National Amyloidosis Centre says so – hurrah!. Nonna had a funny turn before we left but is ok now too – wahoo good news all round!!!

For me things are looking very positive but I am not out of woods. – To be honest I never will be – but as long as I am not in the swamp then I will continue to enjoy the primroses and ignore the occasional discarded jonny on the path toward the gift shop and cafeteria – always the best bit. We are in the taxi with an Turkish/German/anarchist/Marxist driver (can’t tell exactly which way he’s hanging) – whatever he’s got to be a rarity, I wonder if he saw my anarchist badge. I am very impressed by his knowledge of politics and economics but boy is he boring. Oh to be with an infuriating racist, bigot whose got a sense of humour but jeez a self righteous disapproving of everything, lefty, like me – Maria and I may have to top ourselves during the next four and a half hours driving back to York.

Back at the Royal Free other than accidentally exposing my tinky to the lab assistant after putting the hospital gown on backwards and listening to a gruesome horror story I had saved on my iPad, on drowning and suffocation while in the scary scanner, nothing of significance to report. The MRI technician was having great fun pretending that because I couldn’t hear, headphones on, she could say outrageous things and I would just nod. At one stage she amused us both by saying ‘and now we are just going to pop your liver out, OK?’ – I was very amused. Nothing better than a lack of professionalism in such a serious profession. I love her. She also told me a favourite horror story of hers was about a MRI scanner that becomes possessed and incinerates its patients – must remember that next time I have one. Two great quotes from the consultant: I asked – would any lifestyle changes make a difference to my amyloidosis? She said – which lie do you want? I said, how about exercise? She said (read this with the correct heavily loaded emphasis on the last word) Exercise makes a difference – apparently.

I am going to get the dreaded pipe down the gob again – boy oh boy am I getting bored with that and all the other tests – wonder if you can die of boredom with cancer before dying of the disease. I will also have to have a stool examination, no it’s not quality control at Habitat. btw any volunteers to help? I will probably get another 2 courses of chemo to try to push my 97% remission to 100% hopefully with my favourite steroids.

Our driver down was also Turkish and drove Turkish style (not a delight) at a million miles an hour telling us how he had planned to kill his son in law but now loved him like a son, phew for him! Met the wonderful 2 boys and a girl while in Hampstead. Had a smashing Spanish dinner and their delightful company – although they did talk about writing and narrative and things when I really wanted to talk about me or my poetry. Speaking of poetry I have concluded a number of pointers for fledgling poets who aspire to be as good as me.

1. You have heard it before but it I’ll say it again – Don’t correct
2. Don’t read too much of other people’s – you will either give up because they are so good or pick up bad habits cos they are so bad.
3. Get someone to read your stuff out loud. Avani has read some of mine and I have recorded her and uploaded them onto the blog. She makes my bad stuff sound good
4. Don’t write lies about yourself – everyone will know
5. On the other hand, freely make stuff up about others – everyone will fall for it and think it’s true.
6. Quantity not quality is what counts – lots of bad stuff from which crumbs of good stuff emerges
…bit like life – nah cobblers! Life is good if you are lucky and in so many respects I am.

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