This was my first communication.
I was keen to prevent people coming to see me or ringing. I think it was helpful as I don’t expect people wanted to see me much in the state I was in. I was relieved and they were relieved. No mention of God – that starts to emerge once I am on steroids and awake at night with a very active mind.
“Thank you all so much for thinking of me and being concerned. I am very OK. M and the boys are being wonderful.
It goes against the grain (I am not the round-robin type) but I thought it might be best to keep you all updated from time to time about how things are going. I know some of you are worried that I might need visiting or phone calls, texts or whatever.
E-mails are great but anything else particularly visits just rattles me at the moment. It’s vanity actually. I have lost lots of weight and frankly look much worse than I feel. The other reason is I am just plain knackered (probably because of the anaemia) and tired of talking about cancer – so please feel free to share ‘soul bearing’ e-mails with me whenever you like, please don’t come to see me or telephone but of course come to see M or the boys just as normal. When I have finished treatment and feel more human I look forward to a stream of visitors, preferably bearing gifts.
I start my chemotherapy next week. Don’t have any idea how I will respond but hopeful that soon I will start to feel better.”