“Sorry I can see you but I can’t hear you.” (pause)…

As I know you have all been waiting for an update we can report a minor triumph in the dishwasher department. It is working and not leaking. My normal routine is to discard white goods as soon as they play up. Forced back to basics we figured out the problem, ordered the part from Ebay and as reported yesterday we fixed it to a wave of boundless satisfaction.

Today I locked down the phone box- it occurred to me that it was an oasis of potential viral nastiness. They always were. I can still remember the smell of tobacco or curry or beer that greeted you as you raised the receiver to your mouth. There were anti-bacterial inserts you could install but I don’t think the GPO cared. Anyway the box is scheduled to open on October 31st – Halloween —–whoooooo!

This morning I was awoken by cramp in my calf – boy doesn’t it hurt. Haven’t had it for ages – is it like childbirth only lower down I ask?

We got a delivery of milk from the previously mocked and ridiculed village do gooders. Now I have to eat the humblest of pies as my cynicism is engulfed by gratitude. Really nice kind people who are a lot lot beter human beings than me, Bugger!

Avani sent me details of a BBC script writing competition for short scripts on the theme of the social distancing and video conferencing. They need them by Monday. I like having a go at this sort of thing but that gives me three days. Not enough time and I am not that inspired by the description https://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/opportunities/interconnected. Why such a tight deadline I wonder. The only idea I have is to deliver a piece entirely based on the gaps that occur between the utterances. Very Becketian and not very much fun and  but could be worth a punt. Can’t imagine getting it done by Monday without setting aside everything else but I might have a go or I might not. I know the first line “Sorry I can see you but I can’t hear you.” (pause)…

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